Chapter 2: Understanding Boundaries

It is very easy to misunderstand your own boundaries and others boundaries. We tend to be able to pick out the opposite of what we are. However, there are two distinct directions that individuals with boundary issues tend to travel. The path of the "dumped on" or the "dumper."

For instance, it isn't difficult to pick out those individuals that have boundary issues and are unable to set healthy limits. (Unfortunately I am one of those energetic people that wants to be involved in everything and have difficulty saying "no"......I'm working on it) These individuals want to say "yes" because they have a serving personality. However, as you know, too many answers of yes forces the individual to become overstretched and ultimately unproductive.

However, the ones that have a tendancy to not respect other people' s limits also have boundary issues. Those individuals are not usually categorized as having an unhealthy boundary initially, but it is unhealthy for them and others. They tend to see "no" as a challenge. They don't respect people's limits and continue to press forward until they hear the "yes." The primary problem of individuals like this is that they tend to project responsibility for their own lives onto others. They are actually having others carry the load God intends to be their own.

Does any of that sound familiar? God's plan for us is to be able to set healthy boundaries so we can be free to listen to Him and not distracted by "stuff." His plan is also for us to not be outside observers, but to be completely committed to His Will and Direction. Chapter 2 looks at the various types of boundary breakers: Compliants; Avoidants; Controllers; and Nonresponsives. After reading through each category, turn to page 61 in your book and look at the "Summary of Boundary Problems." In which quadrant do you see yourself? In which quadrants would you categorize the people around you? It is crucial to understand where you are and where others are around you to use that awareness to your advantage in making your plan to be "Boundary Healthy." Looking forward to hearing from you...